Reagan and Jaws
Last night, I dreamt
about Ronald Reagan.
I was lounging at some
future beach, some sunny sandy spot filled with large boned Americans
and freckled teenagers in under filled bikinis. A gigantic holographic
movie preview began playing, superimposed on top of the ocean scenery.
Ah, augmented reality, where the special effects take place in the
real world. Not a problem.
The ocean goes quiet
and the traditional music slowly begins. "Baa dun, baaaa dun,...dun,
dun, dun dun, dun, dun.." Suddenly, with an over the top roar, an
immense shark launches itself out of the water. "My god", I think,
"that must be 300 feet long!" The massive shark flies upward in
an arc so high it becomes a painful spot against the brilliant summer
sky. As it comes down, every super-realistic tooth in it's slavering
maw glistens with reddish saliva. Down, down, down it falls, on
such a trajectory that the animal bit of my brain insists it will
land right on top of me. At the last fraction of a second, it hits
the water, a mere few feet from the edge of the beach. Gratuitous
tidal waves blast outward.
The music reaches a climax.
In the aftershock, I
notice a man...no, not just a man. Ronald Reagan, withered and craggy,
yet still ram rod straight, stands alone on the beach. He slowly
walks to the edge and looks deep into the water. Turning to look
directly at me, he notes in an ancient voice that is clear despite
"Looks like there's
a bit of a drop off there. [Dramatic pause] Care to go for a swim?"
The ominous music begins
again, and a gigantic "JAWS" logo flies into the sky above. I notice
how the edges of simulated water match up almost perfectly with
the real scenery below, and can't help but marvel at the artistry
involved in this new Hollywood. The preview fades, and the crowds
go back to their entertaining day at the beach.
There are further previews
that day. Ronald Reagan plays the aging president of the local surfer's
club. Younger members (in their early 30s) are trying to force him
to retire, setting the stage for an intense soap opera. He is determined
to tell people about the killer great white, but due to the intricate
power struggles, no one will listen. I remember a blurb, "Reagan's
greatest performance ever. The peak of his career."
Wild. Why can't all dreams
be like this?
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